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Agreement Frames | Clean Relating

 

 

Participate in the ultimate on-line course for coaches and practitioners here.

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Spiritual Capitalism | Evolutionary Professionals in San Diego

Sustainability of Change for Your Clients | Financial Sustainability for You

 

I believe that right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empowers to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

It is no secret that a primary component of building a 6-figure practice is to offer prospective clients a comprehensive package and path to step into.

Not only does it allow you to guide a client to more sustainable and stable change that takes hold--change that actually sticks--serving them more comprehensively--it also allows you, as the practitioner, to relax into serving them--allowing you to focus all of your energies on the clients outcomes--rather than concern for whether they will be back next week--or not.

That's all well and good...but ::: There are 2 additional critical components.

"The most striking feature of the perennial philosophy/psychology is that it presents being and consciousness as a holarchy of dimensional levels, moving from the lowest, densest, and most fragmentary realms to the highest, subtlest, and most unitary ones." --Ken Wilber

 
You may be wondering ::: what the heck does that quote from Ken Wilber have to do with creating packages for your clients?!
 
I am happy to share that with you.

 

There are only a few components successful coaches and practitioners must incorporate into their practice to turn it into a business. At the same time, you can be “doing” these things, and still be unsuccessful unless you have the necessary techniques and ethical tactics incorporated into the components.

Not just the “how” but “how specifically”.

In this free evening discover:

The 3 Necessary Components for Building and Maintaining a 6-Figure Practice

  • How to construct talks and tele-seminars so that your students and attendees
  • Learn and retain more information and learnings
  • Have maximum opportunity to engage in your products or services without feeling "sold" or "pitched to"
  • How to design a comprehensive offering
  • How to structure them for the benefit of the client
  • How to "stack" the stages so the offering is cogent
  • How to turn initial consultations into results (90% conversion rate from prospects to clients) using Evolutionary Sales™
What you will take home with you from this event :::
  • How to sell without "selling"; from a place of service and contribution
  • The structure of phases and stages in your comprehensive offering and how to "stack" them to best serve the client
  • The 4 components a comprehensive package must have to be compelling
  • The philosophical and emotional residue that comes up for practitioners from antiquated ways of thinking ::: and how to resolve them
  • The structure to use to have presentations and evening introductions practically write themselves
  • The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and copy writing [and its solution]
  • How ... to integrate your purpose and your prosperity
 
 
When ::: Monday, June 11th from 7pm to 9:30pm
Where ::: In San DiegoRSVP for exact location using the contact form on this site.
Why ::: Integrate your purpose and your prosperity
 
Cost? ::: Free.
 
RSVP for exact location using the contact form on this site.
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Semi-Weekly Tips ::: To Have Blog Comments Or Not to Have Blog Comments?

To Have Blog Comments … Or Not To Have Blog Comments?

 

 
 
Register for the ultimate on-line course for coaches and practitioners here.
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Purpose and Prosperity | 3 Components | 6-Figure Practice | Spiritual Capitalism

Sustainability of Change for Your Clients | Financial Sustainability for You

"The most striking feature of the perennial philosophy/psychology is that it presents being and consciousness as a holarchy of dimensional levels, moving from the lowest, densest, and most fragmentary realms to the highest, subtlest, and most unitary ones." --Ken Wilber


You may be wondering ::: what the heck does that quote from Ken Wilber have to do with creating packages for your clients?!

I am happy to share that with you.

I believe that right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empowers to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

It is no secret that a primary component of building a 6-figure practice is to offer prospective clients a comprehensive package and path to step into.

Not only does it allow you to guide a client to more sustainable and stable change that takes hold--change that actually sticks--serving them more comprehensively--it also allows you, as the practitioner, to relax into serving them--allowing you to focus all of your energies on the clients outcomes--rather than concern for whether they will be back next week--or not.

That's all well and good...but ::: There are 2 additional critical components.

There are only a few components successful coaches and practitioners must incorporate into their practice to turn it into a business. At the same time, you can be “doing” these things, and still be unsuccessful unless you have the necessary techniques and ethical tactics incorporated into the components.

Not just the “how” but “how specifically”.

In this free evening discover:

The 3 Necessary Components for Building and Maintaining a 6-Figure Practice

  • How to construct talks and tele-seminars so that your students and attendees
    • Learn and retain more information and learnings
    • Have maximum opportunity to engage in your products or services without feeling "sold" or "pitched to"
  • How to design a comprehensive offering
    • How to structure them for the benefit of the client
    • How to "stack" the stages so the offering is cogent
  • How to turn initial consultations into results (90% conversion rate from prospects to clients) using Evolutionary Sales™
What you will take home with you from this event :::
  • How to sell without "selling"; from a place of service and contribution
  • The structure of phases and stages in your comprehensive offering and how to "stack" them to best serve the client
  • The 4 components a comprehensive package must have to be compelling
  • The philosophical and emotional residue that comes up for practitioners from antiquated ways of thinking ::: and how to resolve them
  • The structure to use to have presentations and evening introductions practically write themselves
  • The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and copy writing [and its solution]
  • How ... to integrate your purpose and your prosperity

 
When ::: Monday, April 23rd from 7:30pm to 9:30pm
Where ::: In San FranciscoRSVP for exact location using the contact form on this site.
Why ::: Integrate your purpose and your prosperity

Cost? ::: Free.

RSVP for exact location using the contact form on this site.
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Evolutionary Professional | Spiritual Capitalism | The Teleseminar Series

Update for the next (and final) call in this series:
Monday, March 12th, 2012 @ 7:30pm Pacific

Talks and Technology ::: How "Free" Leads to Money And Fulfillment

It is no secret you need to give away content in today's marketplace. 

Not just because people need to be able to get a deeper sense of you and your approach to life, work, and the services you provide, but also as a result of the amount and degree of choice in the marketplace. They need to understand and "get" at a deeper level the difference between you and the other service providers out there.

It is your opportunity to distinguish yourself from others, demonstrate competence, and also provide value to those who may or may not be able to afford you.

AND, what stands in the way between you and their eyeballs, ears, and allowing them to "feel" you is your ability to present in person, or over the web, and your mastery of the tools of technology that are abundant and freely available to us in today's net-centric world.

Technology. Most practitioners I have met hate it. Most practitioners must develop some competency with it--unless and until you can just pay someone to handle it for you. BUT even then, you will want to know enough to keep your consultants honest. Take it from me.

Allow me to contribute to you by demystifying much of the "magical" and for most--overwhelming--world of technology.

In this free teleseminar we will cover:

  • The 4 learning types and how to integrate them into any presentation platform to keep your audience engaged
  • Blogging ::: including
    • Blogging platforms and the benefits and drawbacks of each of the available open source platforms
    • Do's and don'ts of blogging
  • Evening talks and how to:
    • Write them
    • Market them
    • Key components you must incorporate them so you can utilize them as "client acquisition events"
  • Teleseminars
    • What they are effective for and what they are not effective for
  • Which social-networking sites are a waste of your time, which ones matter, and why
  • How to use social marketing to maximize your results

When?  Monday, March 12th, 2012 @ 7:30pm Pacific

Why? As always so that you can live a more integrated--a more spiritually aligned--life; integrating your spiritual purpose and your contributions to the world with your wealth acquisition strategies.

As always, I will be taking questions live (and encouraging you to ask them), so if you have questions about any of this tech stuff or presenting, be sure to be on the call.

Register for this free call herehere:
http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/4UY909U6UEBJD521http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/4UY909U6UEBJD521

--------------

Update for the last call: Monday, March 5th, 2012 @ 7:30pm Pacific

Here is the audio from this call:




Tonight, we will be convering Evolutionary Sales for coaches and practitioners.

Register for these free calls hereherehereherehere:
http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/4UY909U6UEBJD521border=border=border="0"http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/4UY909U6UEBJD521

More details:

What if you could count on a prospective client signing an extended package with you when you see them in person? When I say, "count on" on mean--with 90% certainty?

As a holistic practitioner, you are sensitive to dynamics that do not feel right and you truly want to be of service to your prospective clients. You correctly want to make sure they never feel pressured.

And they never should--they do not need to be.

At the same time, if you have been in business for yourself for any length of time, you have come to realize that if you do not assist them in overcoming their concerns and their fears or limitations in thinking, you will never be able to assist them in realizing the life they have always wanted, dreamed of, and perhaps have come to you to assist them in finally achieving. In a sense, this is your first test as their coach, guide, or service provider in the helping industries.

Are you going to let them leave with those limitations intact? Or are you going to expand their world ever so gently?

The reality is, if you do not have financial sustainability, you will not be able to serve for very long before your own concerns of thriving and prospering come into play.  In a word, you need to learn to SELL--but sell without compromising your values of service, contribution, and ethics...

Many talk about using initial or "free" consultations to sign clients, but few know how to set these up to turn them into results. How to systematically use your communication before hand, setting context, and being so effective in the session with your guidance that the results end up being inevitable ::: you can begin to count on the client signing the agreement taking the gueswork out of our business, your financial life, and increasing your confidence exponentially.

Other distinctions I will be including in the evening :::

 

  • How to be so effective in your question flow that "closing" them or "overcoming their objections" becomes unnecessary--as a result of how you're being of service.
  • The three steps to opening the relationship [signing the client]
  • How [and why] to sign the client without ever giving away free services
  • How to sell without ever selling
  • How to integrate permission-based selling


Register for these free calls hereherehereherehere:
http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/4UY909U6UEBJD521border=border=border="0"http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/4UY909U6UEBJD521


------

Sustainability of Change for Your Clients | Financial Sustainability for You

Right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empower to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

It is no secret that a primary component of building a 6-figure practice is to offer prospective clients a comprehensive package and path to step into.

Not only does it allow you to guide a client to more sustainable and stable change that takes hold--change that actually sticks--serving them more comprehensively--it also allows you, as the practitioner, to relax into serving them--allowing you to focus all of your energies on the clients outcomes--rather than concern for whether they will be back next week--or not.

That's all well and good...but ::: There are 2 additional critical components.

You must also have a sales system -- and use it. However, it must be a sales system that does not feel like "sales", that frankly, passes the holistic smell test. A system that will allow you to sell without selling; to sell from a place of service and contribution. To sell, but sell in alignment with your values. No pain. No leverage. No manipulation or unethical tactics. And no use of fear.

AND ... you must give free content. You must blog and give intros, and do podcasts ::: you must give free content so that you can effect the lives of those you may never meet, but ALSO because there is so much choice out there and people want a taste.

We will cover the what, why. and most importantly the how of each of these in these calls, allowing you to do what is post important ::: integrate your purpose and your prosperity.

Not only can we do that at this time in history and in this economy, but we must.

If you want to #Occupy something, occupy your gifts. Let me show you how so you can share them with the world.

Here are the dates and times:
 
Monday, Feb 20, 2012 @  7:30pm Pacific / 10:30p Eastern   [How to build your offering]
Monday, Feb 27, 2012 @ 7:30pm Pacific / 10:30p Eastern   [How to Build Your Offering]
Monday, March 5th, 2012 @ 7:30pm Pacific [Evolutionary Sales™]
Monday, March 12th, 2012 @ 7:30pm Pacific / 10:30p Eastern   [blogging, intros and talks,social media]
 
Register for the calls herehereherehereherehereherehereherehere:
 

Be on one or be on all of them. Whatever would best serve you.

 

In Service,
 
jason.the.mcclain™
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Extensions, Testimonials, Referrals, ... and Bears. Oh My!

A student of my material sent an email with some very good questions for client management including how to handle contract extensions, referrals, testimonials and general end-of-contract dynamics and structures.

I have re-posted relevant portions of the email exchange below for you.


I've listened to your recordings from previous coaching programs and have found them to be insanely valuable. I've signed 8 clients and raised my rates already in the first few months of the program, and I attribute it to following your sales process to a "T".

A HUGE thank you.

My pleasure. I am delighted to hear they were useful to you.  

 

As a couple of my 6-session coaching packages are coming to a close, I have questions around how you structure the end-of-package process. Here are some specific questions:

Do you formally review outcomes with your clients at the end of a package? If so, how do you structure this conversation?

 


Yes we do. Twice in fact. We review their outcomes and the stated evidence for those outcomes about 2/3 of the way through the process. This review is important so we can see where we are on track, see where we already achieved the outcome(s), and see where we need to focus out remaining time together.

Additionally, in the final session, what we do is review their outcomes [mostly I print them out and hand them the assessment we made together] and with those, I have them fill out an extensive feedback sheet or "exit survey" as I like to call it. 

When do you raise the issue of referrals? I love how you talk about referrals on the FAQ page of your site, and I'm wondering how else you support those ideas and maximize the chance of the client biasing toward action.

I never really raise the issue of referrals along the way. For two reasons really, 1) I find it a little off for the Evolutionary Sales™ approach, and 2) I usually I do not have to because they do--and when they mention this friend or that colleague, I tell them how to refer people to me--get their permission to give me their contact information and leave the rest to me.

Additionally, because referrals are part of the agreement they signed, the exit survey gives them an opportunity to write down two names and phone numbers for referrals they have permission from to do so--which re-presences it for them if they have forgotten; it is right there on the last page of the feedback sheet.

Do you collect testimonials from clients? This seems like it would be good material for my website, which isn't up yet. If so, how do you frame it? When do you ask for it (i.e. at the end of a package, when the client is at a peak)

Yes, of course. When they write or say something that is a peak or they are acknowledging me about something I simply ask, "can I quote you on that?" with a friendly chuckle. Then I ask them if I can edit it and send it to them for their approval before I publish it. Sometimes they want anonymity, but I then just use it and us this attribution:  " --Anonymity Requested".  

The truth is, I have no interest in the compliment personally [as in an ego boost or a pat on the back--no interest in that]. However, practically and professionally, you bet I want to hear that--as long as I can quote them on it. Compliments are of no value to me. Testimonials are.

Often, when they say something that would make a great testimonial, typing it up is the thing that is in their way and delays it becoming a testimonial. That, and they are worried about writing it well or "doing it right". So I offer to type it up for them to capture their sentiments and send it to them for their approval.

This removes both the barrier and the delay.

How and when do you have the discussion about signing on for additional coaching? Either to continue work on outcomes that were originally defined OR taking the momentum of coaching and applying it to a new set of outcomes. If the latter, would you do another exploratory with your client?

That is typically driven by that final review of their outcomes. If we have achieved, say, 4 out of 5 of their primary outcomes, and are close on the 5th, we may sign for an additional 2 or 4 sessions. That is rare though. I would guess about 1 in 15. However, I only work with comprehensive packages and it is designed to not be renewed. 

If you are beginning your practice you will be working with a smaller package--as you mentioned, yours are 6-session packages currently--and have more opportunity and more cause to renew or extend. It should still be outcome driven though--not just relational--so we stick to results and not build dependencies in our clients on us.

We want to free them. We want them to "graduate" from us.

However, you are just getting oriented to your offering and you do not yet have a full, comprehensive offering. So you will extend more frequently in the beginning of building your practice. As you do that--regardless of whether they sign for additional sessions or not--you want to have your attention on what else they needed--basically, what was missing from your offering you should add--as those insights will go a long way into bullding a longer offering in the future.

Additionally, on extentions, Evolutionary Sales™ is about outcomes and the vision of what achieving them would make possible in their lives. Remember, we are not selling a service, we are assisting them in selling themselves on their own outcomes and what that will make possible in their lives. This orientation also takes the question of extensions away from anything personal or adversarial, and orients it on their future and their outcomes. In partnership. Looking in the same direction shoulder-to-shoulder.

This approach has "objections" simply not arise; there is nothing for them to resist or push back against. It will either be a fit or make sense to continue, or it won't.

If you already achieved or resolved what they wanted to achieve or resolve, and you have the sense you can serve them further, then you can simply ask them if they are interested in more, and what they see as possible now [their vision for themselves has likely shifted/expanded].

If they are drawing a blank, but you see a lot for them that they "need" and than you can assist with, you may also may just ask them if you can offer something [ask permission] and tell them what additional work you see they could take on and you could do together and ask them if that interest them--and informally seal the deal by asking, "so, wanna go for it?" they say yes, and then you simply say, great, let's handle the formalities--and then proceed to create a new contract for an extension--or add an addendum to the original agreement.

I would not necessarily do another exploratory session. More likely, we just schedule a paid session where we do a fresh, thorough outcome elicitation and evidence clarification for the next phase of our work together. 

 

If they're not interested in doing more coaching right away, how and how often do you keep in touch with your clients?

 

I simply ask them; I let them determine the contact frequency. If they are not interested in more then, and they express interest in more work in the future, you can go one of two ways:

1. Ask them if they want to agree to work together in the future with a specific start date, as they may have some time-frame in their mind. Barring that, 

2. Ask them when you should check in with them next [and how often]. And then you put that in your calendar and be sure to do that. I also ask them if I shoudl call or send them an email. This not only makes sure you are using permission-based sales and marketing, but that you are honoring their preferences.

Thanks so much in advance for taking the time to contribute to me! (gotta love that phrase)

 My pleasure. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to contribute to you.  

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Relationships: Elegent Navigation, Effective Communication Part 1

Relationships: Effective Communication | Elegant Navigation

Part 1: The Problem (1346 words. Average reading time: 6 minutes)

In the global marketplace of cultures, ideas, relationships, and business strategies, we can no longer say that there is one way to “do relationships” or that there is an “is-ness” to what form they should take.

 There simply is no global—or even local—consensus around relationships—if there ever was.

Whether we are speaking about arranged marriages still common on the other side of the globe in India, gay marriages—legal in some countries and some U.S. Statesegal in some countries and some U.S. Statesegal in some countries and some U.S. States or other alternative forms of relating from polyamory, or other non-traditional, non-monogamous relationship forms, we can certainly say that what is considered an acceptable form of relating is massively expanding in scope.

Whether you agree or disagree with those life-style choices, it is undeniable that the very idea of relationship is in evolution both morally and culturally.  Not to mention in practicality—in form.

And yet … 

And yet, most people still cannot seem to even navigate the waters of traditional relationships with facility and elegance.  Even many friendships are not always fulfilling and conflicts are rarely navigated effectively—if at all. Sadly, many marriages and intimate romantic relationships often hobble along until people are just in a habit, not a relationship. They’re still “together” on the surface, but the reality, truth, intimacy, and dynamism faded—or died—long ago.

They are in a habit, not an actual relationship.

There are certainly exceptions to this.  Both in relationships and in society as a whole. We have individuals and small “intentional” communities who have it as one of their stated values to become facile at navigating the waters of relationships—including  conflicts and misunderstandings that arise, as well as their internal, individual, personal emotional upset or “charge” that comes along with it—with skill, ease, and a good degree of elegance.

But even after more than 40 years of the rise and expansion of the human potential movement, these are exceptions, not rules.  Heck, they are often not even expected standards, let alone the rule.

But it could be so.  

We can all have fulfilling, harmonious relationships. Even in conflict, there are philosophical approaches as well effective communication models that, if take on, can fulfill on this possibility—and make it a reality.

So…what are they?

 First, let’s look at some of the common problems that arise. And then, together, we will examine some simple solutions.

 

The Problems

 

Many of dynamics within inter-personal problems and/or conflicts can be summed up thusly:

  • A belief that relationships are “supposed to take work” or “supposed to be hard”
  • Dishonesty. Dishonesty in at least two ways
    • Deceit—actual lying
    • Hiding the truth—not just of facts, which we will lump in with the above, but of our internal, subjective experience. Our process. And what is going on for us.
  • Blaming others for our circumstances or the situation AND
  • Failing to take responsibility for our part in a conflict or misunderstanding
  • Simply meaning two different things—or interpreting something in two different ways—that are in conflict unknowingly until the it causes a conflict explicitly and openly
  • An egoic need to “be right” put before a search for truth and accuracy
  • A lack of emotional choice or facility [being run by our anger, fear, anxiety, guilt, resentments etc.]
  • A lack of knowledge around how to effectively communicate through a conflict—a lack of a positive, effective, workable model
  • A lack of skillful means with those models
  • A collision of values/world-views that are in conflict

 

Why are people dishonest? Several reasons seem to occur most frequently:

  • We do not want to “rock the boat”
  • We do not want to hurt someone’s feelings by telling them the truth [even though, in reality, most people can handle the truth, it is the deception or the hiding that causes the true hurt once revealed or discovered
  • Fear—fear of being judged, fear of being alone, fear of being rejected, or just plain fear of speaking the truth directly.

 

Why do people blame others?  Oh, so many reasons, but a few common reasons are:

 

  • It’s just easier to point the finger outside of oneself than it is to take responsibility—even when oneself is more “to blame”.
  • We do not have solid enough sense of self to take responsibility without going into a state of shame—and therefore avoid doing so
  • We have fault and blame collapsed with responsibility


Why do people resist—sometimes at great cost interpersonally and in terms of intimacy—taking responsibility?

Sadly, people think that responsibility equals blame or fault, but they are actually separate matters. Responsibility really means just that—being able to respond.  To engage. To resolve. To accept your part in it.  When they collapse fault and blame with taking responsibility, they avoid it like the plague, lest they experience guilt and/or shame around it.  Unfortunately, the other person in the equation is often all too willing to assist the other in feeling guilt or shame for egoic reasons—or to extract their pound of flesh, their pint of blood.

While I certainly do not want to oversimplify these complex and multi-faceted issues, we could say that all of those items can boil down to one core cause: insufficient esteem for the self; a lack of healthy and appropriate ego development. Except in the case of actual physical abuse, there is no reason other than a lack of esteem for yourself—knowledge of your competence to communicate it and your belief that you deserve to be happy—to explain it. AND, in the case of actual physical abuse, if the individual is staying in that system—and therefore participating in it—we can trace it to the same core: a lack of esteem for the self; that they deserve better and take action to make it so.

Without boring you by vivisecting all of those problem dynamic bullet points let’s cut to the quick of it: we could trace all of the problems in relationships down to 4 basic common denominators, 3 of them completely resolvable, and the 4th, quite often possible to resolve:

  1. Anemic esteem for the Self
  2. Underdeveloped facility – both emotionally as well as communication skills
  3. Lack of knowledge of effective communication models or processes
  4. A collision of worldviews at the level of values

We will address solutions to items 1, 2, and 3 in Part 2. For a partial examination of the 4th item, I will point you to another article on that subject HEREHEREHERE on my legacy site.

 

 You can proceed to Part 2 of this article: The Solutions HEREHERE.

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Relationships: Elegent Navigation, Effective Communication, Part 2

Relationships: Effective Communication | Elegant Navigation

Part 2: The Solutions (1100 words, average reading time: 4.5 minutes)

[Part 1 can be found HERE]

 

I have a very simple approach to relationships, that avoids most, if not all, of the problems outlined in the interpersonal conflicts above. It is the philosophical grounding I take on in all of my relationships explicitly:

  • Realize—and accept—the fact that no one way of approaching relationships, communication, or conflict is the “right way”. That there is no consensus agreement or reality except that which you form with the Other. They are simply different styles…therefore take this on as an organizing principle and act accordingly: 
  • Give the other person the freedom to be however they want; to be self expressed free from attempts to control them or suppress them
  • Give yourself the freedom to be fully self-expressed—to be your authentic self
  • In the event that one person’s behavior upsets the other, the person who is upset makes a clear request to alter the offending behavior
    • If they accept the request, you now have an agreement
    • If they decline the request, you now know what to expect from them and have more understanding of each other’s approach to the world
    • Forge an agreement with the other that this is the way you will approach relationships and conflict

 

Simple.

It gives both parties maximum freedom to be themselves. It treats both parties like adults who are responsible for their own experience—and can express their needs. Everything is on the table and at face value. There is no second-guessing. There is no ambiguity. There are no guessing games or “game playing”.

And really, holding someone accountable to agreements they have not made—in the form of your unstated expectations—is simply unjust. It is also supremely arrogant, in that it assumes that “well, everybody knows that you should…” which can be translated at a deeper level of its assumption is “my way of doing relationships is the global standard”. 

Incredibly arrogant.

Your way of doing it may be more effective—and may even be more enjoyable for both parties if accepted by and engaged in by both parties—but it is not the only way to do it, and in the absence of an explicit consensus or agreement reality, you must create one.

As I said, it is simple. However, it is not easy.   

There are several things you must do and develop efficacy with for this approach to work and work well for both parties.  There is also a very effective way to communicate through those upsets before making your request (the last bullet point above). We’ll get to that in a few minutes.

First, here is what you must do:

Take on the recommended philosophical grounding and approach outlined in the bullet points above. 

Take responsibility. Don’t do it for them, or for the other person. Do it for yourself—as your esteem for yourself will expand and grow each time you accept responsibility. Your sense of self expands. It also has the effect of allowing people who are emotionally mature enough to follow suit and take responsibility for their part in it—rather than polarizing, blaming each other, and digging your heels in—to the detriment of the relationship and/or for the thin gruel of short-term ego inflation (as opposed to healthy egoic expansion, which occurs, again, by taking responsibility). 

Engage in as many other practices as possible to build true and healthy esteem for the self.  It is your immune system for your emotional life.

Make a firm decision to practice and exercise your facility with self.  At a bare minimum, know that even if your interpretations of what is occurring are mostly accurate, they are at least incomplete. Always look to include more information in your world-view. Expand your perspective.

More advanced practices to exercise your internal facility would be to consider:

  • How else could the events/their actions be interpreted?
  • Where else could the person be coming from?
    • What else—besides your disempowering interpretation/projection/guess—could be their motivations? Their intent? Their outcome?
    • What could their positive intent be?
    • Step into their shoes. What could their experience of you be right now? Is it positive? Neutral? Negative? What else is going on right now for them that is straining their resources?
    • What emotion is underneath their communication—and speak directly to and validate that before getting to facts and agreements

 

Take on a responsible and conscious model for communicating your emotions, expectations, and for requesting an agreement around styles.

All three of those can be addressed by one simple model—in 4 steps. For this, I borrow heavily from Dr Marshall Rosenberg’s work. Here is my suggested approach to communicate upset and negotiate an agreement:

  1. State the emotion responsibly [“responsibly” is explained below in step 1]
  2. Take responsibility for the unstated/un-agreed-to expectation
  3. Make a request
  4. Get an answer

 

Let me provide an example of the kind of language to accomplish this, mapped to the steps, with some guidelines. Let’s take an innocuous example of someone not calling you and they then arrive 20 minutes late [recommended language in bold]:

 

  1. I am noticing I am experiencing anger [or worry, or frustration, or ____________”… [not “you made me angry”, “It pisses me off when you do that”, etc. Not everyone would be angered by it. It is your interpretation and your expectation causing the upset—not some external force or person;
  2. That’s because I have an expectation that people will call if they are going to be more than  _____  minutes late…
  3. So my request is that from now on, if you are going to be more than _____ late that you call and let me know.
  4. Is that something you are willing to agree to…or not? [yes and no must both be fine answers, otherwise it is a demand/boundary declaration, not a request. Give them the freedom to say no]

This model can be used with any situation between two people where there is emotional upset present to elegantly and rapidly move through it.

And…to turn this in on itself, you could use this very model to get agreement around using this model. In fact, I highly recommend you do that.

How? Here is the model used to get agreement around the model:

 

  1. I am noticing I am frustrated by the way we have been communicating when we are upset or in conflict
  2. That’s because I have an expectation that it could be done in a way that would honor us both, while moving through it rapidly
  3. So my request is that from now on, when we are upset, we use this simple 4-step process when we are upset  [show them the model—heck, show them this article]
  4. Is that something you are willing to agree to…or not?

 

Simple.

If there is an actual agreement in place that was broken, there is another equally facile way to move through that…but I will save that for another time.

Some people have protested, “but this takes so much consciousness” or “so much awareness” or “but they should just know that…”

You have to choose for yourself if the relationship—intimate or friendly or professional—is worth increasing your consciousness and your skill. And it is a skill to navigate both your own interiors as well as the conflict using these approaches and models. Since it is a skill it will take practice—and give yourself the freedom to stumble until you become skilled at it.

What awaits you on the other side is fulfilling relationships based on clarity and truth—rather than assumptions and delusion—as well as the ability to rapidly move through conflict so that it takes just minutes, rather than days—or, frankly, never—to do so. AND these are approaches and skills that will serve not only you, but all of those around you in every single context and every relationship in your life.

Do it for yourself, if nothing else.

I think you’re worth it. I trust you do as well.

 

For more clarity and resources on the critical component of self-esteem, see Dr Nathaniel Branden’s work in general, and his Six Pillars of Self Esteem in particular. Here is an articleHere is an articleHere is an articleHere is an articleHere is an article to get you started.

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5211 Hits

Teleseminar Series ::: 3 of 4 ::: Turning Initial Consultations Into Results

[update: listen to this call below. Register for the remaining call in the series herehere]
{mp3}free_teleseminars/20101025_clc_initial_consultations{/mp3}

Take a moment to consider ...

What if you could count on a prospective client signing an extended package with you when you see them in person? When I say, "count on" I mean with 90% certainty?

As a holistic practitioner, you are sensitive to dynamics that do not feel right and you truly want to be of service to your prospective clients. You want to make sure they never feel pressured.

And they never should feel that--they do not to.

Discover how to have the best of all worlds ::: how to serve your potential client fully; how to convert more prospective clients into clients, and ultimately ... friends.

And do it by having a sales system that is in service of the actualization of the life they have always dreamed of ... and deserve.

Discover how on this tele-seminar. Details about the series here and registration herehere.

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2278 Hits

Creating Comprehensive Offerings | Sustainability of Change | Financial Sustainability

Update: The audio for this call is now avaialble here:
{mp3}free_teleseminars/20101011_clc_offering{/mp3}

[The next call in the series is Monday, October 18th. See details for registrationregistration at the bottom of this post and details on the entire series HERE.]

It is no secret that a primary component of building a 6-figure practice is to offer prospective clients a comprehensive package and path to step into.

Not only does having a comprehensive offering allow you to guide a client to more sustainable and stable change that takes hold--change that actually sticks--serving them more comprehensively--it also allows you, as the practitioner, to relax into serving them--allowing you to focus all of your energies on the clients outcomes--rather than concern for whether they will be back next week--or not.

 

Many of my clients lately have been asking "Well, HOW do I create one, McClain?" 

HOW do we create these offerings such that they are coherent, cogent, compelling, and credibly solid?


This seems to be a fairly confronting aspect of building a 6-figure coaching or practitioner business. Confronting both emotionally and structurally--feeling good about it and knowing how.

Doing what The McClain-Ness™ does best, I have modeled out the structure of this kind of offering and what it must contain and comprise to be something that a client finds coherent, cogent, compelling, and credible.

 

What you will discover during this call :::

 

  • The structure of phases and stages and how to "stack" them to best serve the client; how to "build" your offering
  • The 4 components a comprehensive package must have to be compelling
  • How to present your package--how to use the package to NOT sell and therefore sell even more effectively
  • The philosophical and emotional residue that comes up for practitioners from antiquated ways of thinking ::: and how to resolve it

Monday, October 11th @ 7:30pm Pacific. You must register for the callregister for the call. Do that by clicking HEREHERE. There are a limited number of spots available, so snag your spot now.

The call will be live, and I will be taking your questions, so I encourage you to be on the call--and to bring your concerns, your challenges, and your curiosity.

For details about the topics for the other calls in the series, go HERE.

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2015 Hits

Teleseminar Series ::: Three Critical Components ::: Building & Maintaining a 6-figure Practice

Are you tired of tinkering around with your "holistic hobby"? Your first step to turning your practice into a viable and sustainable business is to register for this series of free tele-seminars.

You must register to be on the callregister to be on the call (s). You only need to register once. You will then have a spot on all four calls.

  • Monday October 4th, 2010 ::: The three necessary components to building and maintaining 6-figure practice
  • Monday, October 11th, 2010 ::: Designing your extended and comprehensive offering sustainable change and financial sustainability
  • Monday, October 25th, 2010 Evolutionary Sales ::: Turning Initial consultations into results
  • Monday, November 1st, 2010 ::: Blogging, Social Networking, and Giving Evening Intros [tech and talks ::: how to acquire prospective clients with free, valuable content and authenticity]
Register for the new and evolved version ::: v3.1Register for the new and evolved version ::: v3.1 of the 3 Components to Build and Maintain a 6-figure Practice.

---

There are only a few components successful coaches and practitioners must integrate into their practice to turn it into a business. At the same time, you can be “doing” these things, and still be unsuccessful unless you have the necessary techniques and ethical tactics incorporated into the components.

Not just the “how” but “how specifically”.

In this free tele-seminar discover:

  • The 3 Necessary Components for Building and Maintaining a 6-Figure Practice
  • 7 "Tricks of the Trade" including :::
    • 4 strategies successful coaches and practitioners engage in on a regular basis to maintain their practice
    • 3 critical techniques to turn your initial consultations into results
  • The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and their copy writing
    • [and it’s solution]

 

Four Mondays, beginning Monday October 4th, 2010 @ 7:30pm Pacific. Use this linkthis link to register for the call(s).

This from a former student :::

"Jason McClain is the real deal. His personal life story makes the stories of both Tony Robbins and Christopher Howard look like happy-go-lucky children’s books. He has been quoted as saying, 'if I can be happy and successful anyone can'.

"He built a 6-figure practice from scratch with an intangible service ::: “Personal Evolution”. Something no one wakes up in the morning and thinks they need or looks for. His success was as a result of the incredible efficacy of the system he developed by trial and error." -M.D.

A system I will hand over to you in this talk. Fine-tuned, and streamlined.

"I believe that right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empowers to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

Evolving the planet one client at a time is great, but it is horribly inefficient. *laughing* Let’s accelerate the process together."  --Jason D McClain

--

Acquire knowledge from one of the most broadly educated minds in the coaching business always innocently irreverent, funny, affable, approachable, and obviously committed to serving you by delivering dense value in his talks, expect the tips you will learn in this evening to bear immediate and lasting fruit in your business and in your life.

Be sure you have something to take notes with: and feel free to submit questions before hand. Space is limited to 99 participants for each call. So grab your spot now.grab your spot now.

----

 

Oh--and to get a free trial, for what I think is the best teleseminar service out there--that allows you to call on people by name, "pass the mic" to them, and create break-out groups if you are leading a tele-class or series of tele-seminars, and a bunch more super cool technology to make your life as an entrepreneur easier and your business thrive with more profitability, click HERE.

Rumor has it, they will be adding webinar/screen casting functionality soon, too.SHHHHHHHSHHHHHHH.

 

 

In Service and in Evolution,

jason.the.mcclain™

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Evening for Practitioners ::: The Three Necessary Components | Success is not Magic ::: It is Systematic

"I doubled my business in the first two months of the program [Coaching the Life Coach by Jason McClain!       --Boston Blake, Massage Therapist

There are only a few components successful coaches and practitioners must incorporate into their practice to turn it into a business. At the same time, you can be “doing” these things, and still be unsuccessful unless you have the necessary techniques and ethical tactics incorporated into the components.

Not just the “how” but “how specifically”.

In this free evening discover:

  • The 3 Necessary Components for Building and Maintaining a 6-Figure Practice
    • How to construct talks and tele-seminars so that your students and attendees
      • Learn and retain more information and learnings
      • Have maximum opportunity to engage in your products or services without feeling "sold" or "pitched to"
    • How to design a comprehensive offering
    • How to turn initial consultations into results (90% conversion rate from prospects to clients)
  • 7 "Tricks of the Trade" including:
    • 4 strategies successful coaches and practitioners engage in on a regular basis to maintain their practice
    • 3 critical techniques to turn your initial consultations into results
  • The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and copy writing
    • [and its solution]
Yes. All in two hours. Yes, for free.

 

This from a former student :::

"Jason McClain is the real deal. His personal life story makes the stories of both Tony Robbins and Christopher Howard look like happy-go-lucky children’s books. He has been quoted as saying, 'if I can be happy and successful anyone can'.

"He built a 6-figure practice from scratch with an intangible service ::: “Personal EvolutionPersonal Evolution”. Something no one wakes up in the morning and thinks they need or looks for. His success was as a result of the incredible efficacy of the system he developed by trial and error."  --M.D.

A system I will hand over to you in this talk. Fine-tuned, streamlined ... optimized.

"I believe that right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empowers to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

Evolving the planet one client at a time is great, but it is horribly inefficient. *laughing* Let’s accelerate the process together."  --Jason D McClain

--

Jason D McClain will lead this talk.

Acquire knowledge from one of the most broadly educated minds in the coaching business always innocently irreverent, funny, affable, approachable, and obviously committed to serving you by delivering dense value in his talks, expect the tips you will learn in this evening to bear immediate and lasting fruit in your business and in your life.

Bring something to take notes with. Be ready to implement effective ethical strategies to dramatically increase your income as well as your levels of fulfillment.

Isn't it about time?

What ::: Evening for Practitioners
When ::: Tuesday, October 12th @ 7:30pm
Where ::: San Francisco in the Inner Sunset [9th and Judah-ish]

RSVP for exact address.

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3200 Hits

Evening for Practitioners ::: The Three Necessary Components | Success is not Magic ::: It is Systematic

There are only a few components successful coaches and practitioners must incorporate into their practice to turn it into a business. At the same time, you can be “doing” these things, and still be unsuccessful unless you have the necessary techniques and ethical tactics incorporated into the components.

Not just the “how” but “how specifically”.

In this free evening discover:

  • The 3 Necessary Components for Building and Maintaining a 6-Figure Practice
  • 7 "Tricks of the Trade" including :::
    • 4 strategies successful coaches and practitioners engage in on a regular basis to maintain their practice
    • 3 critical techniques to turn your initial consultations into results
  • The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and copy writing
    • [and its solution]

 

This from a former student :::

"Jason McClain is the real deal. His personal life story makes the stories of both Tony Robbins and Christopher Howard look like happy-go-lucky children’s books. He has been quoted as saying, 'if I can be happy and successful anyone can'.

"He built a 6-figure practice from scratch with an intangible service ::: “Personal EvolutionPersonal Evolution”. Something no one wakes up in the morning and thinks they need or looks for. His success was as a result of the incredible efficacy of the system he developed by trial and error."  --M.D.

A system I will hand over to you in this talk. Fine-tuned, streamlined ... optimized.

"I believe that right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empowers to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

Evolving the planet one client at a time is great, but it is horribly inefficient. *laughing* Let’s accelerate the process together."  --Jason D McClain

--

Jason D McClain will lead this talk.

Acquire knowledge from one of the most broadly educated minds in the coaching business always innocently irreverent, funny, affable, approachable, and obviously committed to serving you by delivering dense value in his talks, expect the tips you will learn in this evening to bear immediate and lasting fruit in your business and in your life.

Bring something to take notes with. Be ready to implement effective ethical strategies to dramatically increase your income as well as your levels of fulfillment.

Isn't it about time?

WHERE?

San Francisco ::: @ The Sandbox SuitesThe Sandbox Suites Wednesday, August 11th ::: 7pm to 9pm

RSVP to let us know you want a seat reserved for you.

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3810 Hits

Creating Comprehensive Offerings | Sustainability of Change | Financial Sustainability

Update ::: The audio from this call is now available below:


{mp3}free_teleseminars/20100517_clc_offerings{/mp3}

 

:::

While I am always tinkering and improving, the last time I did this call, I was sick as a dog with the flu. This one should be exponentially better...

Teleseminar ::: Coaching the Coach ::: Creating Packages (v4.1)

How to create compelling packages for your clients.

"The most striking feature of the perennial philosophy/psychology is that it presents being and consciousness as a holarchy of dimensional levels, moving from the lowest, densest, and most fragmentary realms to the highest, subtlest, and most unitary ones." --Ken Wilber


You may be wondering ::: what the heck does that quote from Ken Wilber have to do with creating packages for your clients?!

I am happy to share that with you Monday, May 17 @ 7pm PacificMonday, May 17 @ 7pm Pacific [You must register for this call at the link ::: if you already registered for last week's call, you are already good to go.]


It is no secret that a primary component of building a 6-figure practice is to offer prospective clients a comprehensive package and path to step into.

Not only does having a comprehensive offering allow you to guide a client to more sustainable and stable change that takes hold--change that actually sticks--serving them more comprehensively--it also allows you, as the practitioner, to relax into serving them--allowing you to focus all of your energies on the clients outcomes--rather than concern for whether they will be back next week--or not.

 

Many of my clients lately have been asking "Well, HOW do I create one, McClain?" 

HOW do we create these offerings such that they are coherent, cogent, compelling, and credibly solid?



This seems to be a fairly confronting aspect of building a 6-figure coaching or practitioner business. Confronting both emotionally and structurally--feeling good about it and knowing how.

Doing what The McClain-Ness™ does best, I have modeled out the structure of this kind of offering and what it must contain and comprise to be something that a client finds coherent, cogent, compelling, and credible.

 

What you will discover during this call :::

 

  • The structure of phases and stages and how to "stack" them to best serve the client; how to "build" your offering
  • The 4 components a comprehensive package must have to be compelling
  • How to present your package--how to use the package to NOT sell and therefore sell even more effectively
  • The philosophical and emotional residue that comes up for practitioners from antiquated ways of thinking ::: and how to resolve it

Monday, May 17 @ 7pm Pacific. You must register for the callregister for the call. Do that by clicking on this linkthis link. There are 99 spots available, so snag your spot now.

The call will be live, and I will be taking your questions, so I encourage you to be on the call--and to bring your concerns, your challenges, and your curiosity.

-=-=-

Oh--and to get a free trial, for what I think is the best teleseminar service out there--that allows you to call on people by name, "pass the mic" to them, and create break-out groups if you are leading a tele-class or series of tele-seminars, and a bunch more super cool technology to make your life as an entrepreneur easier and your business thrive with more profitability, click HERE.

Rumor has it, they will be adding webinar/screen casting functionality soon, too.SHHHHHHHSHHHHHHH.

In Service,

jason.the.mcclain™

Continue reading
877 Hits

Teleseminar Series ::: Three Components ::: Building & Maintaining a 6-figure Practice

Are you tired of tinkering around with your "holistic hobby"? Your first step to turning your practice into a viable and sustainable business is to register for this series of free teleseminars.

You must register to be on the callregister to be on the call (s):

 

  • Monday, May 10th, 2010 [tech and talks ::: how to acquire prospective clients with free content] Featuring a
    Social Media and email marketing expert [audio now available here ::: {mp3}free_teleseminars/20100510_clc_social_media{/mp3} ]

  • Monday, May 17th, 2010 [Designing your extended and comprehensive offering sustainable change and financial sustainability)]
  • Monday, May 24th, 2010 [Evolutionary Sales ::: Turning Initial consultations into results]
Register for the new and Evolutionary versionRegister for the new and Evolutionary version of the 3 components to build and maintain a 6-figure practice.

---

There are only a few components successful coaches and practitioners must incorporate into their practice to turn it into a business. At the same time, you can be “doing” these things, and still be unsuccessful unless you have the necessary techniques and ethical tactics incorporated into the components.

Not just the “how” but “how specifically”.

In this free tele-seminar discover:

  • The 3 Necessary Components for Building and Maintaining a 6-Figure Practice
  • 7 "Tricks of the Trade" including :::
    • 4 strategies successful coaches and practitioners engage in on a regular basis to maintain their practice
    • 3 critical techniques to turn your initial consultations into results
  • The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and their copy writing
    • [and it’s solution]

 

Three Mondays, beginning Monday may 10th, 2010 @ 7pm Pacific. Use this linkthis link to register for the call(s).

 

Audio from the less evolved (from the past month) version of this series of calls:

 

The Overview [March 15, 2010]:
{mp3}free_teleseminars/20100315_3_components{/mp3}
Creating Your Offering [March 22, 2010]:
{mp3}free_teleseminars/2010_03_22_creating_offerings{/mp3}
Turing Initial Consultations into Results [April 5, 2010]:
{mp3}free_teleseminars/2010_04_05_initial_consultations{/mp3}
Talks and Technology [April 26, 2010]:
{mp3}free_teleseminars/2010_04_26_tech_talks{/mp3}

___

 

This from a former student :::

"Jason McClain is the real deal. His personal life story makes the stories of both Tony Robbins and Christopher Howard look like happy-go-lucky children’s books. He has been quoted as saying, 'if I can be happy and successful anyone can'.

"He built a 6-figure practice from scratch with an intangible service ::: “Personal EvolutionPersonal Evolution”. Something no one wakes up in the morning and thinks they need or looks for. His success was as a result of the incredible efficacy of the system he developed by trial and error." -M.D.

A system I will hand over to you in this talk. Fine-tuned, and streamlined.

"I believe that right now is the time for the Evolutionary Professional™. The emergent agent of change integrating purpose and wealth; doing well as a result of doing good-- integrating universal spiritual principles and free market economics. I understand that the more of you I empowers to be successful, and have a full-time practice that is thriving, the better off the world will be.

Evolving the planet one client at a time is great, but it is horribly inefficient. *laughing* Let’s accelerate the process together."  --Jason D McClain

--

Acquire knowledge from one of the most broadly educated minds in the coaching business always innocently irreverent, funny, affable, approachable, and obviously committed to serving you by delivering dense value in his talks, expect the tips you will learn in this evening to bear immediate and lasting fruit in your business and in your life.

Be sure you have something to take notes with: and feel free to submit questions before hand. Space is limited to 99 participants for each call. So grab your spot nowgrab your spot now.

----

 

Oh--and to get a free trial, for what I think is the best teleseminar service out there--that allows you to call on people by name, "pass the mic" to them, and create break-out groups if you are leading a tele-class or series of tele-seminars, and a bunch more super cool technology to make your life as an entrepreneur easier and your business thrive with more profitability, click HERE.

Rumor has it, they will be adding webinar/screen casting functionality soon, too.SHHHHHHHSHHHHHHH.

 

 

In Service and in Evolution,

jason.the.mcclain™

Continue reading
2037 Hits

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