The Evolutionary Professional

Given the generosity of this Community and your desire to good in the world, some of you may be wondering which cause you should contribute to this Holiday Season.

Yet, we are left with a conundrum :::

With large organizations, regardless of their stated principles, there is always a challenge
dealing with overhead, administrative costs, and general efficiency of your donations.

Sadly, this makes many of us hesitant to give. And rightly so.

Which has me looking for causes where there is a minimum of administrative costs. Where there is a real translation between the dollars we give and the good it
will do.

What if you knew about a place to donate to remove all the layers between you and the actual difference you were making? What if you were assured you could make a difference immediately, NOW direct to the cause?

Meet the cause :::
http://www.yestomiracles.com/

Watch the video on that page and watch the one on this page:
http://www.yestomiracles.com/bio/

and read the story. I met this woman on the trip to LA attending a fund raiser with Destin Gerek, and while not knowing who it was for, we walked in and even with her back to us,
I *FELT* she was the brightest light in the room.

She was the only one I was interested in meeting--and requested so.

Imagine my surprise that the fund-raiser was for her.

Regardless of your beliefs, beliefs system, or relationship to the holidays, if you are not moved to tears by this woman and her path...well, let's just say if you are alive, and you watch this woman's videos you should be moved to give to her cause.

I beg of you to do as your heart dictates.

And if your heart dictates, visit the links and hit the "donate" button. Any amount--large or small--will help.

In Service and In Evolution,

The McClain-Ness™

Swift kicks in the butt are not my style--they are not what I do or what I offer. BUT I know they are necessary at times for us all.  AND, every once in a while, someone comes along who not  only cares about you, but can kick you in the butt in just the right way.
 
Once in a while I run across an offer I think is worth supporting/advocating and forwarding from someone I approve of. Someone I think you can benefit from. Someone with immaculate integrity--who will also bring crazy value to your life. And someone who truly cares--at a deep level--about assisting you in improving your life.
 
This is the first offer like that that I am advocating on this site, in well over a year, so you can imagine that this is a good one.
Meet David Martin.

I like to think of David as the Tony Robbins for Central and South America. He speaks to groups that are over 500 people at a time--and not only is he a Master Practitioner of NLP, but an amazing motivational speaker--AND he really, really cares about people--and he knows how to kick your butt.

Anyway, David's got a crazy download deal for audio material he has recorded. If you need your butt kicked--he's your guy.  
Check it out HERE.
 
I'm not sure how long he is offering this--I know it will not be up forever--but either way I suggest you get over there and take advantage of this opportunity--especially, as I said, you need a good butt kicking.
 
*chuckling*
Check it out HERE:
http://www.profcs.com/app/?af=984126
 
In Service and In Evolution,
 
Jason

How Has the Marketplace's Current Economic Conditions Affected Our Business?

There is more money now for coaches, consultants, and holistic practitioners who are effective than before the economic downturn; it is also harder to acquire it [for some/most].

How can this be?

What do I mean?

People know they need assistance in being more effective now. Those in business for themselves who were able to scrape economic cream off the top are no longer able to; money is not simply just bubbling forth. As a result, they are looking for coaches and practitioners to assist them in gaining skill, becoming more effective, systematizing their businesses, etc.

And in some cases, if they are aware enough, becoming more at ease both physically and emotionally.

What this translates to is more business for those of us who are effective both at providing service to our clients, but also at turning prospective clients into clients and clients into raving fans.

For coaches and practitioners, this is a good thing if you are effective.

If you are not, this is the End of Days for your practice.

I would prefer if you were in the former category rather than in the latter.

Simultaneously, prospective clients are making more careful choices-there is plenty of choice out there. Where they put their money Is now a more conscious choice;  a more careful choice.

Your process needs to be immaculate or they will go somewhere else.

Simultaneously, people want more for their money and there is less latitude and grace for ineffective, non-results-producing practitioners. And they may be out of work, and they may have the time to actually invest in the endeavor of reporting their results-no matter how wildly inaccurate they may perceive the process of working with you. [Frankly, I have become more careful about who I take on as a client as a result].

What that means to you is that not only do you need to be a more effective practitioner all the time, but you also need to become a more and more effective sales professional all.the.time.

To assist you in that, there is a free event in San Francisco on April 28th in the evening. See details about that here:

http://tinyurl.com/clbnek

9.27.2011 ::: Update: Tom Hoobyar has passed on to another plane. Now, Vikki needs your help. At times, his care was costing upwards of $5K a day. Please follow the link near the bottom of this post to contribute to the medicals bills she now faces in this time of grief.

Tom Hoobyar has pancreatic cancer. Stage 4. He is on full life-support in Reno in ICU. He is in a semi-comatose state.

As of this writing, I was with Tom in the ICU in Reno, NV Monday night with others from his community. 

Many of you know Tom, or know of him--particularly if you are in the NLP community. He is an iconic figure. A true gift and a treasure and a resource. He is the reason the NLP Cafes exist.

It is exceedingly rare that another writer captures my sensibilities perfectly. Sam Rosen has done just that in his article on Consciousness vs. Conversions. Hop on over and check it out.

Who or What do You Worship? The purpose of this writing is to lay out different “gods” or objects of worship as an outgrowth and/or expression of the mimetic stage [meme codes within values spheres] of individuals and groups using a rough sketch of the Spiral Dynamics model.

Be forewarned ::: this is serious personal evolution geek stuff.

I am also going to make the unusual move of saying the very premise of what I am about to lay out is inaccurate. That’s right. I am beginning by saying I am wrong in my assertion that there is an individual relationship between mimetic stage and what one “worships”. Why? Because we experience / interpret through and emotionally react from our stage of development—and an individual can therefore have an experience of a particular spirituality or spiritual expression that is the same religion and same “god” as another at a radically different stage and therefore experience it differently. However, I have noticed cultural clumps that gives us enough evidence to make these generalizations below for the purpose of engaging in this thought experiment. To understand some of what I will say in this writing, one must have an at least basic grasp of the Spiral Dynamics model. There are two summaries attached for your downloading HERE and HERE. Source ::: LINK. Review those before reading further.

My favorite way of representing Spiral Dynamics comes from Dr. Claire Graves himself: The memes are “degrees of activation of the nervous system”. These are not types of people but rather ways of thinking that are holarchically emergent within people. Having established all of the above as our foundation...

The status of the world today is precarious.

Register for the ultimate on-line course for coaches and practitioners here.

Register for the ultimate on-line course for coaches and practitioners here.

Elevator Pitch ::: Think of it as a teaser trailer for that summer blockbuster:

A little flash, a little emotion, a bit of intrigue, and make an impact.

To Have Blog Comments … Or Not To Have Blog Comments?

Self-Esteem Matrix

[Validation (V) ::: Worth | Referencing (R) ::: Efficacy]
Internal and external locus

If we combine Dr Nathaniel’s definition of self-esteem—that is that self-esteem has two integral and inseparable—yet equally important and parallel—components:

Over the years, I have written several several takes, applications, thoughts, and republished dialogues on ego and self-esteem.

In terms of personal development--irrespective of your motivations; no matter if the flashpoint is your inter-personal relationships or professional life--there is no single factor that is more important to the core of your happiness, your ease and flow, and your general thrival and expansion than your egoic development. From ego-centric to gender-centric or ethno-centric to world-centric to cosmo-centric.

Blah, blah, blah. Heh.

Below is a round-up of those articles to date.

Some are tailored to small business folk. Others are more abstract and theoretical. One is a dialogue about ego among me and my brilliant friends on facebook. All are important to you as you settle into the you that is expanding personally, professionally, financially, relationally...and yes, of course, Spiritually.

One of the main challenges that small business people face—particularly solo practitioners or “solo-preneurs” in general--is the problem and the art of motivating oneself.

You are your own boss. If you have employees, then the game may be a little different for you as you have people depending on you.  However, if it is just you, there are often no external forces telling you that you must do any particular “thing”.  There are certainly exceptions to this—client deliverables, purchases that have been made, the general inertia of your business pulling you along at some point, but really, especially at first, it is an uphill battle for many on their own.

There are so many aspects to this problem of motivation that some never figure it out—or worse, they find solutions that compound the problem in the long-term because the “solutions” are ill-suited approaches. Ill-suited to them as individuals.

To really add fuel to the fire [or baking soda to the lack thereof] we have distractions, overwhelm, time management, prioritization, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

What works for one person in terms of motivation may or may not—and often does not—work for another. So it is with time management, goals, and the like. There is no one-size-fits-all or even a one-size-fits-most solution. Particularly for those who are more sensitive both emotionally and kinesthetically/energetically, many of the “take massive action” or “get present to the consequences if you do not” approaches create more internal dissonance, and if the tasks or milestones the individual is accountable for are not accomplished, this can lead to a build-up of that same internal dissonance, or worse, feelings of guilt or worse still, even shame, and with the principle of compound interest on the “debt” you have with yourself…well, we can see where it may and often does lead: overwhelm rather than accomplishment.

somebody i met was asking me if NLP processes can change an identity layer as deep as sexual orientation.

Great question. Several ideas about it:

There are some aspects of sexual orientation that may extend into identity structures, but I am uncertain about the presupposition that there is where it lays--in fact, after seing hundreds of clients, for some people it creates tremendous internal dissonance when they finally admit to their desires because it is directly in conflict with their identity structures. In other words, I disagree with the presupposition in the question.

this guy is straight and very open-minded. i think he genuinely wanted to know about the range and reach of NLP. i did tell him that i did a training with richard bandler in 88 or 89 where he *claimed* that guys (terrified of aids) had begged him to "make them straight" AND he said that he did that!

Bandler may have in fact done that.  Again, lots of "instant research" in the early days. But if Bandler did it and was bragging about it, I would be even more hesitant. Bandler once bragged in a video I watched about installing a phobia in someone so they would stop sitting in the front row. Ugh. However, there is a documented intervention [Laid out in "Heart of the Mind", I think] where a guy was effeminate, and supposedly gay, married, but did not enjoy sex with men [or something like that] and there was an event where he was going under anesthetic, struggled, and was put under. This was somehow tied to the effeminate-ness and cleared and his orientation "changed" to straight.

Again, not sure the guy was ever really homo-erotically driven.

NOW, i am open-minded, so i said i think that there are aspects of person's 'taste' for certain things could be altered and very likely even the cues for arousal. i am also aware that there is a big difference between chemistry/attraction and a constructed identity--so yes an 'identity' could be shifted. BUT I don't really know if the primary gender attraction could change.

Yeah. I agree with you here.

thoughts?

Of course.

If someone came to me wanting to change their sexual orientation/gender attraction, I would probably decline to do so. But I would do it elegantly in this way ::: Get into communication wiht the part of them that feels like something is wrong with their desires [assuming consenting adults] and look at the guilt and shame that must be driving the desire to change and resolve that to make them okay with their mutually consensual, alternative, yet natural desires. Thereby sidestepping what I consider to be a questionable intervention.

To me, that is a more ethical approach, rippling out to areas in every aspect of their life, creating internal peace, and avoiding making change that is motivated in the ways this request for change likely would be.

It is not the thing itself [sexual orientation in this case] that is the problem, but the relationship to it the creates it as a problem.
And again, just because we can, does not mean we should.

Self-acceptance being one of the highest and deepest contributions we can make to our clients.

Jason

A great quote about football, but it applies to any business:

"It's kind of like the questions that have been asked about what it's like right after being world champions," Coughlin said. "We go to the parade, we come back from the parade, and the next day we're grading players, we're ranking players. The business just goes on. Enjoy it while you can, because you've got the next hurdle, and in order to get back on schedule, you've got to deal with these kinds of things [immediately]."

What do you do right after you complete XYZ? Begin again and go on the next thing/level.

All perspectives have equal validity, but they lack equal *value*, as they manifest different and varying levels of depth. #integral

I wrote the above line on facebook yesterday. Comments ensued:

@chris kosley said:

"Isn't value only assignable relative to a particular goal? Why should deep be inherently more valuable than shallow?"

To which I responded:

Thanks for asking the question. Good stuff.

What you say about value relative to a goal is true in other contexts [say, if I were talking about a skill or a thing; an object. But that is not what I was talking about.

I was talking about the inherent value in perspectives.

Why should deep be inherently more valuable than shallow? The simple answer is because it contains more. 

It requires more to demonstrate depth than it does to be shallow. It requires a larger embrace of the Kosmos. For instance, compassion is more valuable than anger because it requires a greater depth of development to demonstrate compassion than it does to simply get angry.

Therefore there *is* an inherent value that is greater.

Green [SD6] in Spiral Dynamics will not see this: they believe in flatland; all perspectives have equal value and it is all about cultural constructs and no culture is any "better" than any other culture. Of course they fail to realize that this perspective itself is a very high/deep level of development and stages below it do not share the sentiment.

Yellow realizes the folly in this, and its inherent falseness; Yellow [SD7] once again is fine with holarchies [stops judging them as bad or claiming they do not exist] as they are naturally occurring all around us.

And that is one of the charachteristics that truly distinguishes 1st Tier consciousness from 2nd Tier in the model. In other words, what distinguishes Integral.

We have been sold a bill of goods around ego. One that creates internal division and conflict. One that creates internal dissonance. One that creates pain. One that, at its worst, can foster a certain degree of self-hatred. A dis-ownership of the self. A bill of goods that is 2,500 years old in terms of its story around ego, the nature of ego, and the "problem" of ego.

And there is a better way. One that can create the same intended result with a kinder, gentler more self-accepting approach that can accelerate the evolution of the ego through the radical acceptance of expanding the ego, rather than attempting the psychological and spiritual suicide of ego annihilation. 

You can also see some similar themes around ego in the business context, read this article:  Self-Esteem and the Solo-Preneur | Internal vs. External Locus of Responsibility for an even deeper cut, taken from an email I sent a client a couple years ago, read Your Self-Worth is a Settled Matter.

Ok...ready? ::: Heh.

A quote from Ken Wilber I posted spawned an in-depth, yet brief—discussion on the nature and evolution of ego, Spiral Dynamics, the Integral community, and related topics, including the difference between cognitive development and actual development ::: the difference being understanding vs emotional response and being, or stated differently ::: one’s “center of gravity”.

Often people ask me what separates a “Practitioner” from a “Master Practitioner”. Or what separates a “good” practitioner, from a “great” practitioner from an “extraordinary” practitioner. It is a good question, and one deserving of answers.

In the times we face today, it has never been more challenging or more urgent that we integrate our purpose and our spiritual sensibilities with our wealth acquisition strategies.

And ... it is tough. We've all faced some degree of the belief that our spirit and our wealth is in conflict. Sadly, in the last few years, this has come into even higher relief; even greater contrast.

Not only can we integrate our purpose and our prosperity, but we must. 

In this evening introduction, we will cover:

• The 3 critical components for building and maintaining a 6-figure practice
• How to sell without selling; sell from a place of service and contribution
• How to turn your initial consultations into results

What else will we cover?

RSVP Required. See below for details.

In the times we face today, it has never been more challenging or more urgent that we integrate our purpose and our spiritual sensibilities with our wealth acquisition strategies.

And ... it is tough. We've all faced some degree of the belief that our spirit and our wealth is in conflict. Sadly, in the last few years, this has come into even higher relief; even greater contrast.

Not only can we integrate our purpose and our prosperity, but we must.

In this evening introduction, we will over:

• The 3 critical components for building and maintaining a 6-figure practice
• How to sell without selling; sell from a place of service and contribution
• How to turn your initial consultations into results

What else will we cover?

•  "Tricks of the Trade" including :::
  • 4 strategies successful coaches and practitioners engage in on a regular basis to maintain their practice
  • 3 critical techniques to turn your initial consultations into results
• The Number 1 Mistake that Practitioners and Coaches make in their marketing strategy and their copy writing
  • [and it’s solution]

Over the years, I have written a piece or two [or 3] on relationships and communication. From many perspectives and assessing many forms of relating. Given how often I have had the opportunity to send some of these articles to clients lately, I figured that a round-up of the most salient entries was in order.

The four I recommend as "covering the bases" are below. I list them in order of expansiveness:

Are you in a relationship? Or in a habit? How would you know? I take on this question in the following article:

Living Consciously: Fulfilling Relationships, Values, Forms

In the next two-part article, we address the problems as well as the solutions to many [if not most] inter-personally conflicts. Both the mindsets as well as practical solutions.

Relationships: Effective Communication | Elegant Navigation

Part 1: The Problem (1346 words. Average reading time: 6 minutes)

In the global marketplace of cultures, ideas, relationships, and business strategies, we can no longer say that there is one way to “do relationships” or that there is an “is-ness” to what form they should take.

 There simply is no global—or even local—consensus around relationships—if there ever was.

Whether we are speaking about arranged marriages still common on the other side of the globe in India, gay marriages—legal in some countries and some U.S. States or other alternative forms of relating from polyamory, or other non-traditional, non-monogamous relationship forms, we can certainly say that what is considered an acceptable form of relating is massively expanding in scope.

Relationships: Effective Communication | Elegant Navigation

Part 2: The Solutions (1100 words, average reading time: 4.5 minutes)

[Part 1 can be found HERE]

I have a very simple approach to relationships, that avoids most, if not all, of the problems outlined in the interpersonal conflicts above. It is the philosophical grounding I take on in all of my relationships explicitly:

• Realize—and accept—the fact that no one way of approaching relationships, communication, or conflict is the “right way”. That there is no consensus agreement or reality except that which you form with the Other. They are simply different styles…therefore take this on as an organizing principle and act accordingly: 

• Give the other person the freedom to be however they want; to be self expressed free from attempts to control them or suppress them
• Give yourself the freedom to be fully self-expressed—to be your authentic self
• In the event that one person’s behavior upsets the other, the person who is upset makes a clear request to alter the offending behavior
  • If they accept the request, you now have an agreement
  • If they decline the request, you now know what to expect from them and have more understanding of each other’s approach to the world
  • Forge an agreement with the other that this is the way you will approach relationships and conflict

One of the aspects of working on and in the context of personal evolution is that I am constantly in evolution in both senses of the word--"in it", as in exploring the context and in the process of my own personal evolution as well--because you see, it is never over. Our evolution, which is really about allowing the greatest depths of ourselves to unfold and manifest in the world, is never over--because our depths are infinite. If who we are is a manifestation of the divine--an outpouring of Spirit, and the Kingdom of God is Within [and I believe it is] than there is no end to uncovering, clearing, and allowing that beauty to unfold in the world.

And I never ask my clients to do anything I have not done myself and am applying in my own life. Period. As such, this post is a little more personal for me to demonstrate that.

After my divorce, and the year long self-reflection that followed, I realized that for the most part, what consistently happened in my romantic relating was a zero-sum type of dynamic. That at the end of my relationship with a woman, she was tangibly more empowered, more comfortable with herself, more fully embodied, and proud of her womanhood.

Partly because it was my constant practice to be sure she felt loved, had per positive qualities acknowledged somehow on an actual daily basis [not the same ones, but what authentically struck me in the moment as I appreciated her at some point], that she not only had a daily reminder, with full connection and presence of my love for her [and what I loved about her and why] but that she blushed with my acknowledgments.

It was conscious. Intentional. And the relating really cost me dearly. I was psychically drained, more dis-empowered, and frankly, less of a man by the end. It was, in fact, a zero-sum game.

I have created a new blog category for you called "semi-weekly tips" and it will be just that.

We'll cover topics ranging from self-esteem to email marketing. From best practices in business to practices for maintaining a healthy ego.

They will be 2-minute vignettes. We will release one approximately every 10 days.

They are not meant to be exhaustive or thorough lessons, but rather just a quick hit or some insight, and for some of you, simply reminders of the best of what you may have forgotten, but would love to be reminded of.

These are primarily created with coaches and holistic practitioners in mind, however, if you are in business for yourself, or if you are an independent commission-based employee, you will also be able to benefit from them.